Pellygetsfit

NOVEMBER 28th 2016

Last week I decided for the millionth time that I am going to try it again. I am going to do the thing that I’ve said is going to happen every week for years and years.
I am going to get fit.
Those who know me, know that I love technology and gadgets. Nothing beats the feeling of unboxing brand new Apple products, am I right?

Anyways, whenever I purchase new technology, my two main objectives are as follows:

Make myself happier.
Be more connected.
In the past season of life I’ve had some different goals in mind. My main goal or objective right now is to:

organize my life.
focus on things that matter.
So a couple of weeks ago I made a plan. I sold my Microsoft computer and got my hands on some new devices: an iPad, an iPhone 6s, and the Apple Watch Series 2.
Then something amazing happened.

I started to organize myself.

I started to focus on the things that matter.

I had used an iPad and iPhones before, but I’d never used an Apple Watch.

Soon after putting it on my wrist, it prompted me to make some fitness goals.

My goals were as follows:

Move Goal: 800 calories
Exercise goal: 30 minutes
Stand goal: 12 hours (Stand up once an hour for at least a couple minutes)
My second day with the Apple Watch went something like this:

Move: 1621/800 calories
Exercise 85/30 minutes
Stand 13/12 hours
BOOM!

So this past Monday, my wife asked if I wanted to start a DVD workout series called “90 Day Body Revolution ” by Jillian Michaels. Shalisse had done this program once before. She did Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred and then after 30 days she worked out 6 days a week for 90 days straight.

My wife in an incredible human.

So for the next three months I am committing myself to try and become the best version of myself that I can be.

But I want to be clear from the start.

My goal is not to lose weight.

My goal is to be more fit.

Losing weight is a byproduct of being fit, but it’s important to know the difference between the two.

Pounds, kilograms, stone. Its all just metrics.

Weight is just a number.

But I’ve allowed that weight, or that number, to define who I am.

I can honestly say that there has never been a day in my entire adult life that I have not thought about how much I weigh. The thought of my how big I am consumes my entire life.

For the past several years I’ve maintained a body weight of 375 lbs give or take a few pounds.

Last week I re-downloaded the “My Fitness Pal” app and it still knew my last weigh-in. It was from 2013, a mere three years ago, and you guessed it, 375 lbs.

Again, just a number, but I let that number define who I am.

I let it become part of my identity.

In most circles I am affectionally known as the “big guy”. It’s something people have been calling me my whole adult life.
But that’s not who I am.

I am more than my weight.
I am a father, a son, an artist, an activist, a teacher, a student, a gardener, a visionary, a poet, a preacher, a foodie, a risk taker, a movie maker.

I am all these things.

I am not 375 lbs.

I weigh 375 lbs, but that is not who I am.

Over the next season of life I am going to be on a journey to be fit. No doubt people will comment about how much weight I lost, or how different I look. I know the comments. I’ve made those comments to other people.

The thing about those comments, as well meaning as they are, they just reinforce the identity of the number.

Losing weight will not change my identity.

Gaining weight will not change my identity.

Over the past several years, there has been several times when people have noticed a small drop in my weight and then comment.

“Oh wow, you look so good! Have you lost weight, or are you working out?”

Have you ever done a test on love languages? I did one last week and one of my highest love languages is “words of affirmation/encouragement”.

Words matter.

A well meaning comment about my weight can bring me to the highest place in the world

The exact same comment can also have a disastrous effect on my self worth, but only if I let it.

I am not going to let words about my weight define who I am.

Because what happens if I fail? What happens if I gain the weight back? What will people think of me when I plateau or stop working out? What will people say when they see me eating at McDonalds at 1am or have a slice of pie at Christmas?

It doesn’t matter.

I’m done trying to please others with my appearance.

I am done with letting words about my weight define me.

I am not 375 lbs.

I am not the “big guy”.

I am not morbidly obese.

I am not a number.

-D